Learning As I Go

I initially began this blog so as to offer commentary on the media and women. I had envisioned witty posts deconstructing advertising and scathing rants taking on society's unrealistic expectations and spotlights on positive role models in pop culture. But, you know what? Fuck that shit, there are way more issues that women face everyday then airbrushed models telling us that our fine-lines are unacceptable.

The past two weeks, I have been reading as many womanist and feminist blogs as I possibly can in order to be well-versed to write this blog. To say I've been humbled would be a vast understatement. Reading and learning about womanism for one has been an eye-opening experience. Never before have I thought of the privilege bestowed on me by my skin colour, 'normal'-ness, class.

At first, denial struck me and I had to really examine those feelings and ultimately discover the oft-buried shame at the treatment of my fellow women, fellow humans at the hands of my race and that for that reason my interest and righteousness in regards to sexism and even racism can come across as patronizing at best. Accepting that we women are not all the same; that my personal experiences of sexism are so minute, so trivial that they barely warrant mention when ranked with the 500 missing Aboriginal women or FGM or AIDS or the billion other gross injustices women face worldwide.

I do not want to appropriate WoC's experiences or women who are differently abled or women who are of a different socio-economic bracket; nor do I want to insist on being a part of every single human rights movement simply because I feel entitled. I will never fall into the ready-made trap of calling reverse racism (wtf does that even mean? Doesn't it stand to reason that reversing racism would equal canceling it out?) that Rush Limbaugh and the neo-conservatives are so fond of crying.

What I want, is to learn and to teach what I learn so that we all might work together to make the lives of women, everywhere, better. The reason I identify as a feminist is not because I want to be represented by the media, warts and all, but because I want to help make the world a place of equality where women are people first.

Wait, What?

Because women who immigrate to Canada get paid $ .56 to the dollar that Canadian-born women make. What would that be compared to what Canadian-born men are paid?

Emphatic Eye-Roll

Because we hate being told to "smile, you'll look prettier".

Welcome to F-ed Up

Throughout the duration of our friendship and roommate-ship, my sister from a different mister, Rebekah, and I have spent a huge chunk of time talking about feminism and what it means to us, who it should represent and, ultimately, why it is just as important today as in 1878 when the Canadian Suffrage movement first kicked off.


After years of passionate discussion we have decided to birth this here blog as a place for us to connect with other people who are feminists (whether they know it yet or not), to discuss the women who have shaped our worlds, to celebrate the policies that support marginalized groups and draw attention to the policies that try to tear us all down, and to write about everything in between.


F-ed Up is a safe, non-judgemental, all-inclusive site that we want to learn from just as much as we want to educate and we truly welcome everyone to join us in navigating feminism in 2010 and beyond.

Mark this Date

Oh geez, Sarah Palin has said something I agree with and it just so happens to be her most intelligent and heartfelt quote to date. Her thoughts on the speculation that she's the recipient of a brand spanking new rack: 


Yes, I think it's pretty ridiculous. And what it does, it ends up ultimately wasting time and wasting people's energies. Here's an example of how it kind of wastes some time. To be judged on or to be talked about on appearance, say chest size — it makes me wear layers. It makes me have to waste time figuring out, What am I going to wear so that nobody will look in a area that I don't need them to look at? I want them to hear what it is that I'm saying. It ends up wasting time and that's just very, very unfortunate.


Cats and dogs, living together!

Ho Yeah, Peggy Hill!

Peggy Hill is awesome for many reasons; she stands up for Bobby when he wants to be a male witch, a ventriloquest, a ballroom dancer with a dog for a partner, a clown, a husky-boy model; she wants Luanne to have the best, most independent life possible; she goes after her dreams and she never stops believing in herself; she loves Hank but never bows to him; and she is awesome for this clip.

Don't Get Raped

Some great advice from blue milk:

"Don’t go out and get drunk, it could lead to you getting raped. Also, don’t have sex with someone because it could get you raped by someone they know. Don’t be young, that could definitely get you raped. While we’re at it, especially don’t be a child, that could really get you raped. Don’t be older either, that can get you raped. Don’t be living in a nursing home; women get raped there. In fact, what are you even doing in an establishment like that, are you asking for it?

Don’t be single; single girls are sluts. Sluts get themselves raped. Don’t be married either or you could get raped by your husband. Don’t go jogging, that is just irresponsible. Don’t go to carparks, that can get you raped. And really don’t go jogging in a carpark, that is like so going to get you raped. Don’t go to public toilets, that can lead to rape. Don’t be dying; dying women get raped. Don’t ever be unconscious for any reason whatsoever, you’ll get yourself raped. Don’t be injured either. Raped. Avoid being physically disabled. Raped. And particularly avoid being intellectually disabled. You couldn’t get yourself more raped. Don’t go out alone, that is dangerous and you could get raped. But don’t accept lifts either; that is just asking for trouble. Don’t ever be naked, it could get you raped. Don’t wear clothing in which I could imagine you naked, that could get you raped. Don’t wear short skirts, they attract rape.


Don’t wear baggy clothing or pyjamas or hospital gowns or a hijab either, women get raped in all those too. Don’t have a father, brother, uncle or grandfather. You could get raped by one of them. And oh my god, don’t even think about having a step-father. So raped. Don’t be ugly or you could deserve rape. Don’t be beautiful, you will be too tempting. Don’t flirt with men, this can get you raped. Don’t be rude to men either – playing with fire. Don’t take public transport. Raped. Don’t drive your own car, what if someone hid in the back seat, you could get raped. Don’t sell sex or anything close to it. Raped, raped, raped. Don’t be mistaken for someone who might sell sex. Obviously, you would get raped. Don’t be a soldier, a waitress, a teacher, a police officer, or a hairdresser. All these women can get raped, sometimes by their professional colleagues.


Don’t dance, it could lead to you getting raped. Don’t relax, what if it made you look like you wanted it. Don’t be stupid, that will surely get you raped. Don’t be naive, you’ll deserve what comes to you. Don’t be adventurous, that is being stupid and stupid women get raped. Don’t be silent, who can be expected to know you didn’t want to be raped. Don’t be intimidated, that can signal weakness and will get you raped. Don’t be trusting, don’t be in awe, don’t be flattered by anyone – that could so get you raped. Especially don’t be female, that could really get you raped, although being male could get you raped too, so don’t do that either.


Not to mention, don’t be gay, people rape people for that, and don’t be straight, members of the opposite sex might think you want it, and REALLY don’t be bisexual, bisexuals are easy and being easy gets you raped."

Of course, all of this can be avoided if you are wearing skinny jeans.